When you start to cry do you automatically apologize? It’s how many people respond because it’s what we have been taught. To protect other people’s feelings. To keep your tears for behind closed doors. Emotions are a sign of weakness and you will be taken advance of. It’s really hard to be vulnerable. It really can be a risk to show your emotion. Those of you that have past trauma will need to do this in a safe way. However, this article is for those of us who automatically want to hide our emotions, out of habit. It’s an expectation and it’s not meant to be shown. It’s time to normalize the expression of emotion. To stop apologizing for our emotions. You have EVERY right to have emotion. Holding onto your emotion and not processing it with helpful strategies causes burnout. Then that brings on MORE emotions. It’s a vicious cycle. The norms need to change, and they can change with us.
So How Do You Start the Process?
Awareness! Be aware of your emotion, and what you automatically want to do. Allow the emotion to be, try to tolerate some of the distress you feel.
How to tolerate distress? With helpful coping strategies!
- Deep breathing: square breathing is a great way to start.
- Talking it out with somone
- Doing something calming such as take a bath, cuddle with your cat
- Saying something positive to yourself
This is only temporary, You got this! I will not critize myself, I am doing my best, I choose positivity
- Be grateful. Our mind goes to the negative automatically. So we have to train it to be positive. Focus on what is going well. Write it down. Start the day with a gratitude journal to start your day on a positive note.
- Write a letter to yourself. A letter to your younger self giving advice. A love letter to yourself. A letter of forgiveness.
- Give youreself compassion and love. We can be our biggest critics. It’s unhelpful, when you catch yourself doing it pause and respond with love. What would you say to a dear friend going through the same thing.
- Get active! But your shoes by your door, set a rouine, workout with a buddy.
- Ask for help. Therapy is magically. I’ve done it and it’s changed how I look at things. It helped me be more assertive, to love myself and to take my foot off the gas. I have control on how i respond. The first step might be to talk to your family doctor.
It’s ok to have emotion. Don’t run away from it. It ebbs and flows, and you gave to go with the flow! It will come back down.
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