“Do as I say not as I do” doesn’t go very far. It’s actually quite frustrating to hear that from your parents. Role modeling behaviour is the best way to teach.
What Needs to be Taught?
Assess what your child needs.
- Social skills
- Emotional regulation
- Problem solving
- Task initiation
- Time management
How do you teach those skills?
- Plan ahead, don’t fight fires
- Break down the steps
- Have visuals to help them remember
Give them opportunities to practice
- You don’t have to fix it all
- Don’t jump in to fix it
- Let them try
- Focus on the effort not the end result
- Pay attention to small steps towards their goals
Take care of yourself
- Taking care of your needs first gives you the energy to deal with your child
- Be self aware
- Acknowledge your struggle.
- When you make a mistake, own it address it with your child. ” I over reacted this morning. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. I’m sorry.”
Things can be different, it will take work. Be patient, plan ahead and get your child’s input.