Having siblings that get along is ideal.  Why else would you have more than one child?  so the can grow up together, depend on each other and love each other.  That is always the plan until it’s not, and it’s disappointing, frustrating and tiring.  So what can you do?  It’s not always that easy.  You have to look at the big picture.  Why don’t they get along?  Are they similar? Are they close in age or far apart?  Are there personality conflicts? Behaviour, mental health or developmental delays that can get in the way.  Do your children have social skills? Some children need some down time after school or daycare to unwind and regain their energy before they can play with their energetic sibling.

If they have different temperaments that can help you see why they struggle with each other.  here is a visual to help you compare.

Split up their time together.  Don’t expect older to children to just play with much younger siblings all the time.  You may have to facilitate some of the play or help them meet in the middle with some decisions. Talk to each child separately about why it’s so tough to get along with their sibling.  Then come together to make a plan together.  Maybe they could use a problem solving or negotiation wall to help them work through the arguments.  They may need some house rules to create as family so they understand what is expected of them.  Not all siblings will get along. You can promote happy memories with their siblings, you just may need to be involved or close by in the beginning.  Don’t lower your expectations, alter them.  Notice when they do well together, acknowledge the effort and you will see more of the good behaviour.