3 Tips to Build Resiliency in Your Children

Resiliency is the ability to bounce back. To learn from mistakes, and move forward.

Some people are born with it others are not. The good news is you can teach it!

If you left your two children in the morning you would probably come home to one still standing at the door crying. The other child would have brushed their teeth and hair, gone outside to play, made a snack, and settled into a great day. This child is resilient. The other child needs more tools, supports and patience!

So how do you help?

1. Be aware of what your child needs help with.

Do they have the skills to do those things? Do they have mental health concerns, developmental, physical or learning disabilities? These factors need to be taken into consideration as well. Children of all abilities can learn resiliency, but it will take longer.

What do you want them to be able to do? Make a snack, make friends, get ready for school independently and on time, have conversations, be able to communicate…

2. Teach them the skill.

Break the steps down for them, create a visual or checklist. Involve your children in making a plan. What do they struggle with? What do they need help with? Work it out together.

Children of all abilities can learn resiliency

Do they know how to start a conversation? Has a anyone taught them how to make a sandwich or fry an egg.

Do you do everything for them? Have you given them a chance to try. Remember, are you protecting them or preparing them? Prepare them!

3. Practice, practice, practice!

Give them an opportunity to try out their new skills. Step back, give them a chance. Take it one step at a time. It won’t always go well. Focus on the effort, not the end result.

This bowl of Kraft dinner is a sign of skill, independence and self confidence.

Focus on the effort, not the end result.

This will take work and patience. But your children will have life skills for life. They will feel confident and proud. You will be less stressed. You will be able to send them off to school, their first job, college/ university with confidence.