Some children are difficult. They are born difficult and struggle in life because of it. This is very tough as a parent. I have heard parents say “This is not what I thought having kids would be like.” They love their child, but they really struggle with their behaviours, with their mental health, with their temperament.
This is a tough place to be. It must be so frustrating to be constantly triggered by your child’s behaviour.
They need you. They feel the distance, the irritation, the resentment. They don’t want to be difficult. They want to do better. They want to connect with you. They are struggling, they just don’t know how to reach out.
You may not feel this strongly. But you do feel it to some degree. You may be thinking:
- They know better.
- I would have NEVER acted this way.
- They never listen to me.
- Everything is a fight.
- They can’t act this way.
- Who do they think they are?
Strong emotions in you effect your relationship with your child. It’s tough, I feel your pain. But your child needs you. They need skills, support and understanding. When you change how you look at your child and their struggles it will help you connect.
Practice self-care. Take it one day at a time. Take parenting class to help you better deal with the behaviours.
Your child can’t do this alone. Start with yourself and the rest will get easier. Don’t expect that your 6, 8, 10 or even 15 year old needs to figure it out on their own. You don’t cause the behaviour, but how you deal with it can perpetuate the issue. Change starts with you.
