When your children do good things do you acknowledge it? When they are doing something quietly do you go in and give them a thumbs up, pat them on the back or say “nice work buddy”.
Most parents will say absolutely not! If you go in you will disturb the peace and they will start acting out.
So in other words, your good behavior won’t get acknowledged, but you throw something across the room and then I give you attention.
Bad behavior becomes the way your children learn to get attention.
Notice the good behavior and you’ll see it more.
Catch them being good. You’re efforts will be worth it.